Rizal's Last Review of the Century

    Well dudes, it's me again with yet another Wacko trip review. This is my last review for the 20th Century. So save it. It's gonna be a classic someday just like all the other reviews.

    We finally agreed to spend Christmas weekend in JB after listening to Tesy plead for many years. On the morning of the 26/12, Dev and Mala went in one car while Anush, Harun, me and Sharm, went in the Alfa. By the way, Tesy did not know about Sharm, who was on her annual pilgrimage to Malaysia. We left KL at 9:00am. Somewhere near Seremban both cars passed by each other for the 20th time but this time passengers from both cars actually screamed and pointed obscenities at each other. Moments later the drivers screamed even louder when an automobile portrait photographer @ traffic cop sitting under an umbrella in the middle of the highway took photos of the Alfa and the Wira.

    After that we stopped at the Ayer Keroh reststop for a break. Since it was early morning, the wind was cool and refreshing though gusty. The Ayer Keroh highway is also home to several crosswind areas which translated into Malay means angin melintang which translated into Anusha language becomes, cover your eyes, lintang pukiang. We reached JB at 12:00pm only to be caught in a traffic jam leading to the Causeway after conflicting directions from Anusha and Sharm. Then Harun misinterpreted Sharm's left turn and we ended having to go thru the jam again. Dev and Mala who weren't following our directions did the exact same thing.

    After a half dozen calls to and from Tesy we finally made it to Tesy's housing area. Her house was located at the foot of a hill so we dropped Sharm at top of the hill and went to her house. The house was an antique, quaint bungalow packed with 2 dogs, 2 adult rabbits, and 3 newly borned furless baby rabbits. Apparently 2 of their siblings had been eaten by the mother!! It's true. Cannabalism and infanticide is a common thing in the animal world. It doesn't help that Tesy feeds the mother with tapai. We went in and were greeted by Tesy, her parents, sisters, and all the naughty nephews and nieces.

    After we were seated and chatting away, Tesy was her normal self; talking, spinning, and waving her arms like a fly around a person's head. While Tesy was doing the fly, Sharm sneaked into the house and quietly sat down. Tesy was still doing the fly and it took her a minute or 2 before she saw Sharm even though she spun in front of Sharm several times. She screamed and almost immediately hugged Sharm. It's a bit difficult to describe the Sharm-Tesy meeting. You had to be there to see it. Too bad we couldn't capture it on videotape. Anyway that afternoon, Anush, Dev, and Mala went to Singapore, I, Sharm, Tesy, and her sister Jane went shopping in Kerry's while Harun stayed back and enjoyed the sci-fi horror Event Horizon.

    That night we had the mother of all Christmas dinners. We thought we were going to have a traditional Christmas dinner with Turkey and plum pudding instead we had authentic Malayalee cooking from Tesy's mom. There was pulao rice, aubergine, mixed veggies, lamb stew, fish curry, cutlets, and chicken. My apologies to your mom, Tesy, if I Ieft anything out. Anyway the food was excellent beyond words. It was delicious, scrumptious, heavenly. I even took pictures of the food and other Wackos enjoying it. If Tesy develops them without damage, and this is difficult, then Harun can net the pictures just to irritate other wackos who couldn't make it. Anush, who made such a big deal telling Dev not come back late from Singapore, came in at 8pm while Dev and Mala about 9pm. For punishment there was no cutlets left for them.

    After bidding the Antony family good nite we moved on to the TNB bungalow in Desaru. We stopped to refill at a Mobil station where Tesy accidently pulled the boot switch instead of the oil tank switch. Her boot popped open and its high spoiler nearly hit the attendant's jaw.That was a preview of what was to come.Tesy drove around 60kmh to 90kmh, slowing down once in a while to look for the TNB bungalow sign. It didn't help she did the fly thing while chatting with Sharm who thoroughly enjoyed the seat massager. Poor Mala was going crazy having to stop and go while following Tesy's driving.

    We made it to the bungalow at 12am only to find the caretaker wasn't in. So we called him and 15 minutes later the poor fella arrived. His wife followed and she looked like a ghost, wearing a large shouldered nightgown and walking under the bright streetlight. Sharm and Mala actually ran and hid behind the guys. The bungalow was a large wooden shack with a small stone garden in the middle of the house. The garden had an open roof which meant a thief or a monkey could jump inside the house. The house also had very bad soundproofing with the South China Sea blowing her steam off. To cap off an erie night, the tv had a show called Shadow of the Hawk which was a Native American Indian ghost story together with a Chinese ghost story on another channel. That nite when we slept all the doors were locked. Tesy even slept with her handbag underneath her pillow.

    Before bedtime Sharm, Tesy, and I had a nice chat while the others watched tv. So much for the planned gossips, uno, and ghost stories. Next morning Tes and Anusha went on a 5 km walk from the bungalow to the beach and back enduring attacks from Mat Salleh golfers who couldn't swing their clubs to save their lives and crazy monkeys looking for food. Sharm and I thought about joining them but decided against it. Later the gang went to the Desaru Golden Beach Resort. Those who didn't puasa had breakfast, Harun lazed away on a beach seat while I went for a walk on the beach. It was very windy and the waves were quite high.

    After breakfast was over, we packed the cars and headed back to Tesy's house. We found a Champange bottle that had FROZEN after being left overnight in the freezer. Apparently Tesy put it there to chill it but forgot all about it. She insisted that I hold it with me but I said nothing doing less I wanted the cork to rocket straight at me. Harun wasn't too pleased either when he saw me place in the backseat of the Honda. He made sure he sat at the other side. The trip back was something else. Anusha and Tesy were actually racing each other though we were cheering for them to quit it. Anusha went so far as to overtake even with cars from the other side of the road driving in her direction. She received several flashes.

    From Tesy's house, she, Anusha, Mala, and Dev went to Singapore while Sharm, Harun, and I headed for KL. It took us 3 rounds before we managed to exit Tesy's housing area. We agreed that the area was probably designed by Tesy's ancestors. Harun drove like normal with Sharm beside him and I dozing off at the back. Then I heard Sharm scream and Harun slam on the brakes. Right on the opposite side of the road a large truck had swerved and turned over once or twice. I only saw the truck hit the ground hard but I imagine one of the front tyres burst cause there was no other vehicles in the vicinity of the truck. We were lucky; the truck could have flipped over the divider and landed on us.

    To make the scene more interesting, moments after the crash Harun's phone rang and lo and behold; it was Rita. So Harun parked the Alfa in the emergency lane and happily chatted away for half an hour oblivious to time, darkness, and Sharm trying to stuff the handsfree kit in his ears. We left JB at 5:30pm, the accident and Rita's call was at 6:00pm, and the call ended at 6:30pm. We broke fast at one of the reststops on lucozade, dates, and Tesy's cookies. We only got to the Ayer Keroh Restoran Jejantas at 8:00pm hoping to find the McD Thai Burger. However there was no McD or BK only Dave Deli's and KFC. To add insult to injury Sharm remembered the Thai Burger ad was actually shown on Singapore tv. Probably there's no Thai Burger in Malaysia though the Prosperity Burger should be coming soon with the CNY weeks away. Rita, if you read this, you owe us all a Thai Burger. Or maybe a Prosperity Burger.

    From there it was straight to Bangsar on speeds ranging from 60kmh to 193kmh!! I made sure I had my seatbelts on at all times. We dropped Sharm to Vig who was playing his guitar around 9:45pm. Sharm went to take her bag out of the boot; I thought I'd do the same to save time but Sharm didn't see me and slammed the boot on my head. Sharm, when you get back to office in Sweden, the first person you will see will be a smiling Sven de Lange with a lawsuit notice in his hands. After that Harun dropped me off and I lumbered straight to bed.

    So there it is ladies and gentlemen, my last Wacko trip review of the century. It's a bit longer than normal but the last one is always more special. It was a good century. For me, the 80's the best part, the first 3 years of the 90's was like climbing mount Everest, and the Wackos were the only saving grace for the rest of the 90's. Other parts of the century I don't remember. So here's to another century hoping that the best is yet to come for rest of our lives. Unless Y2K sets off 1 or 2 of Russia's nuclear warheads, be on the lookout for the next Wacko review which is headed your way very soon. Happy New Year and Welcome To The New Century!!!

Riz